week three :)

 I thoroughly enjoyed the discussions about family cultures that we had this week. Every single family has their own personal culture which makes families so diverse because literally, every family is different. I thought a lot about the culture my family has and the elements I want to maintain with my future family along with aspects I want to improve. I will share two aspects I would love to continue with my future family and two aspects that I believe could use some improvements. 

The first characteristic of my family that I want to bring my children up in is being actively involved in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This gospel means everything to me, and I would not be who I am today without being raised in the church. I want my children to grow up with a love and understanding of who their Savior is. I also love the morals, standards, and values of the gospel. I think the focus on the family is definitely a priority I want to have with my future husband and children. I want my children to know they are loved and respected, not only by their earthly parents but also by their Heavenly Parents. I love the standards of the gospel because they really help everyone who lives by them to be a better person! I know I want my children to be the best versions of themselves that they can be, and living the standards will help them immensely. The consistency of the gospel has also gotten me through a lot in my life. There are so many variables in life and things are constantly changing, but the gospel of Jesus Christ is such a strong constant. I have been able to personally recognize the blessings that come from building the foundation of my life on Him, and I want to teach my children to do the same.

My parents are so good at expressing their love to me and my siblings, and I have always appreciated that. I told my mom once that we are “aggressive huggers,” and it’s one of my favorite things about my family. My mom and dad never miss an opportunity to show and/or tell us how much they love us in various ways. Hugs are the main form of expressing affection in my family, along with other forms of physical touch like holding hands, cuddling, kisses, etc. My mom tells us “I love you” a lot word for word, but “I love you” sounds different from my dad. It sounds like, “Drive safe,” “Be good,” “Text when you get there safe,” etc. They spend a lot of quality time with us as well and are always trying to help us with whatever we may need. They really cover all their bases with love languages which is something I admire about my parents. They understand that we all receive and express love differently, and they have learned to love me and my siblings in ways that are best for us. That is a skill I hope to master with my children as well.

In relation to my parents expressing love to us as their children, they are not the most obviously affectionate couple with each other. I have learned to recognize the ways they express their love for each other throughout my life, but it was something that often confused me when I was younger. I think I was especially confused because they were so touchy with us, but they are not the most physically affectionate with each other. I want my children to know without a doubt that “mommy and daddy love each other.” I know it is pretty cliche, but that is one thing that I will be changing in my future family. I think it is also important to teach children from a young age that there are so many different ways to love people and make them feel loved. That would have helped me better understand the relationships of those close to me a lot sooner.

My parents did their best to raise us as best as they knew how, but several of their methods of disciplining I will not be using. They used timeouts and spankings quite often, and I want to help my children learn how to self-regulate by understanding the emotions they’re feeling and figuring out ways to better express those emotions. I want to have more of a guidance approach rather than discipline. It will allow my children to come to their own conclusions and realizations.

I am so grateful for my parents, and the culture they worked so hard to build then maintain in our family. We have strong relationships because of the effort they put forth. I am looking forward to having children of my own and creating my own family culture!