week twelve :)

70%. That is a pretty high percentage, and it has to do with some statistics related to divorce that we talked about in class this week. Divorce can be a hard topic to discuss, but it is important to talk about it so people better understand it and things about it. I haven’t personally been affected by divorce in my life, several people that I know and love have been, though. I won’t pretend to know what it is like, but I will share some things I have learned and/or found interesting. 

Within 2 years of being divorced, 70% of divorcees regret getting divorced, and 70% of divorced men are remarried. Why do you think 70% of divorcees regret their divorce? I think it could be for a variety of reasons. Maybe they feel like they could have saved their marriage. They might regret it because of their children and how difficult it was/is for them. It is possible that they miss their ex-spouse and realize divorce wasn’t the only or right option, but they weren’t able to recognize that during the process of getting divorced. The reasons could go on and on, and I’m sure it is different for each person. I wonder if those people that regret their divorce talk about that with other people. I think listening to others' experiences would help prevent a significant amount of divorces, however, people just don’t talk about it. I understand why they wouldn’t want to openly talk about it with just anyone, but I do think there should be more resources that people are aware of about divorce. How do you think that would affect divorce rates in the United States alone? I was surprised to hear that 70% of divorced men are remarried within 2 years of their divorce. Why do you think that is? In class, we discussed that it is typically women to ask for and want a divorce, so I wonder if that has a part to play in it. If men usually do not want to get divorced, it would make sense that they would be more likely to remarry sooner. It also may have to do with women typically being more emotional than men, so it might be more likely for it to take them longer to get over a divorce. There also tend to be more women looking to marry than men, so men have more potential options than women do. Whatever the case may be, everyone’s experience is different, but again, I think it would be good to hear more about those experiences that people have.

There is also another statistic that 70% of couples that rate their marriage as “very unsatisfactory” will change that rating to “satisfactory” or “ very satisfactory” if they remain in their marriage within the next five years. I think so many people are more inclined to react with their flight instinct rather than their fight instinct in the world today. They are unhappy, and they want to be happy so they look for it elsewhere. However, this statistic shows that 70% of the time, it is beneficial to fight for a marriage rather than call it quits. What do you think the couples do in those five years to change the way they rate their marriage from “very unsatisfactory” to “satisfactory” or “ very satisfactory”? Here are some of the ideas that I came up with. They probably go to some sort of marriage therapy or counseling to get professional help. They both decide to recommit to the marriage and put forth the appropriate effort to do so. They are supporting each other and working together instead of working against each other which will probably bring them closer together. The couples may focus on the reasons to stay married rather than focusing on the reasons to leave the marriage. I think it is quite impressive how drastically couples are able to change their marriage when they choose to do so.

Thank you all so much for following along with my blog for these past few months. Since the semester is ending, this will be my last post on this blog, but I hope y’all have learned at least one thing from me sharing what I have learned because the whole purpose of this blog was to help teach those that read it. Thanks again for reading!

- Ashlee :)